I’m Officially Terrible at Relaxing
Look, I’ll just say it: I’m bad at relaxing. Like, really bad. And I think most of us are. We’re all so busy, right? Always on the go, always connected, always doing. But have you ever tried to just… stop? It’s harder than it sounds.
About three months ago, I was at a conference in Austin. There was this guy, let’s call him Marcus, who gave a talk on productivity. He was all, “You should be working smarter, not harder.” And I was like, “Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard this before.” But then he dropped a bomb: “And that means learning to relax.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.
So I decided to give it a shot. I was gonna commit to doing nothing for an entire weekend. No work, no chores, no nothing. Just me, my thoughts, and maybe a good book. But here’s the thing: it was awful. I felt guilty. I felt bored. I felt like I should be doing something else. Anything else.
Why Is This So Hard?
I talked to my friend Sarah about this. We were over coffee at the place on 5th, and she was like, “Dude, I get it. I tried meditating once. Lasted about 11 seconds before I started checking my email.” And that’s the thing, isn’t it? We’re so used to being stimulated all the time that when we’re not, we don’t know what to do with ourselves.
I mean, think about it. When was the last time you just sat there? No phone, no TV, no nothing. For me, it was probably last Tuesday. And even then, I was kinda half-watching a show in the background. It’s like we’ve forgotten how to be alone with our thoughts.
And don’t even get me started on the whole “self-care” thing. It’s like people think you have to go to a spa or do yoga or something. But honestly, sometimes self-care is just sitting on the couch and not feeling guilty about it. (Which, by the way, is way harder than it sounds.)
The Science of Doing Nothing
So I did some research. Turns out, there’s actual science behind this. According to a study with 214 respondents, our brains need downtime to function properly. Like, really need it. It’s when we’re not focused on anything that our brains can process stuff, make connections, and basically just recharge.
But here’s the kicker: most of us don’t get enough of it. We’re always on the go, always connected, always doing. And it’s taking a toll. Stress levels are up, productivity is down, and we’re all just kinda exhausted. Sound familiar?
And it’s not just about mental health. It’s physicaly (yeah, I know, I messed up the spelling) important too. Our bodies need time to rest and recover. But instead, we’re pushing through, burning the candle at both ends, and wondering why we’re so tired all the time.
How to Actually Relax
So how do we fix this? How do we learn to relax? Well, it’s not easy. But here are some things that have worked for me, kinda.
First, schedule it. Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but hear me out. If you schedule time to relax, it’s easier to commit to it. It’s like a meeting with yourself, and you wouldn’t cancel a meeting with someone else, right? So don’t cancel it with yourself.
Second, start small. You don’t have to go from 0 to 60. Start with 15 minutes. Or even 5. Just commit to doing nothing for that time. No phone, no TV, no nothing. Just sit there and breathe. It’s harder than it sounds, but it’s a start.
And third, find something that works for you. For me, it’s reading. I can get lost in a good book and forget about everything else. For my friend Dave, it’s gardening. For you, it might be something else entirely. The point is, find what makes you feel calm and present, and do more of that.
Oh, and one more thing. If you’re gonna travel, make sure to check the Vermont transport schedule update. Trust me on this one. Nothing kills relaxation faster than being stuck in traffic.
A Tangent: The Joy of Boredom
You know what else is important? Boredom. Yeah, I know, it’s not exactly a popular concept these days. But hear me out. Boredom is where creativity comes from. It’s where ideas are born. And it’s something we’re all kinda lacking in our always-connected world.
I read this article once about how kids these days are never bored. They’re always entertained, always connected, always doing something. And it’s making them worse at creativity. They don’t have time to daydream, to imagine, to just be. And honestly, it’s kinda sad.
So maybe, just maybe, we should all try to be a little more bored. Turn off the TV, put away the phone, and just sit there. Who knows? You might come up with the next big thing. Or you might just sit there and think about nothing. And honestly, that’s okay too.
Final Thoughts (Kinda)
Look, I’m not saying we should all become hermits. I’m not saying we should never work or do anything ever again. But I am saying that we need to find a balance. We need to learn to relax. To be bored. To just be.
And it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna take time. It’s gonna take practice. But it’s important. For our mental health, our physical health, our creativity, our relationships… basically everything.
So do me a favor. Right now, put away your phone. Close your laptop. And just sit there for a minute. Breathe. Think. Be. And if you can’t do it now, schedule it. Because trust me, you need it.
And if all else fails, just remember what Marcus said. “You should be working smarter, not harder. And that means learning to relax.” Which, honestly, is probably the best advice I’ve heard in a long time.
About the Author
I’m Jane Doe, a lifestyle writer with a love for all things cozy and a hatred for small talk. I’ve been writing for 20+ years, and I’m still not sure what I’m doing. But hey, here we are. When I’m not writing, you can find me reading, gardening, or trying to convince my cat that I’m the boss of the house. (Spoiler: I’m not.)
