My New Year’s Eve Epiphany
It was New Year’s Eve 2019, and I was at my friend Lisa’s place in Brooklyn. We were supposed to be having this fancy dinner with champagne and all that jazz, but honestly, I was just counting down the minutes until I could leave. You see, every year it’s the same thing: people making these grand committments to themselves, promising to change their lives in some dramatic way. And look, I get it. I used to be that person too.
But that night, something clicked. I was talking to Lisa’s cousin Marcus (let’s call him Marcus because his real name is too complicated to explain), and he said something that kinda blew my mind. He said, “You know what my New Year’s resolution is this year? To stop giving a shit about all the things I’m supposed to care about.” Which… yeah. Fair enough.
And that’s when it hit me. I was tired of the pressure, the guilt, the constant feeling that I wasn’t living up to some arbitrary standard of self-improvement. So I made a decision right then and there: I was done with New Year’s resolutions.
The ‘F*ck It’ Rule
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should just stop trying to be a better person. That’s not what this is about. It’s about letting go of the things that don’t really matter, the things that just add stress to your life without adding any real value.
So what does the ‘F*ck It’ Rule look like in practice? Well, it’s different for everyone. For me, it started with small things. Like, I stopped beating myself up for not working out every day. I mean, who has time for that? And honestly, I’m not even sure it’s all that physicaly beneficial. Then, I stopped feeling guilty about not cooking elaborate meals every night. Sometimes, a frozen pizza just hits the spot, you know?
But here’s the thing: the ‘F*ck It’ Rule isn’t just about letting go of the little things. It’s about reevaluating your priorities and focusing on what truly matters to you. For me, that means spending more time with the people I love and less time stressing about stuff that doesn’t really make a difference in my life.
But What About Self-Improvement?
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But what about self-improvement? Shouldn’t we all be striving to be better versions of ourselves?” And the answer is, yes, absolutely. But here’s the thing: self-improvement shouldn’t be a source of constant stress and anxiety. It should be something that brings you joy and fulfillment.
So, instead of making a list of all the things you want to change about yourself, try focusing on the things you love about yourself. Build on those strengths and let go of the rest. And if you slip up? That’s okay. It’s all part of the process.
And look, I’m not saying this is easy. It’s not. It takes time and effort and a lot of soul-searching. But it’s worth it. Trust me.
A Tangent: The Great Socks Debate
Speaking of letting go of things that don’t matter, let me tell you about the time I had a full-blown argument with my colleague Dave over socks. Yes, socks. You see, Dave is one of those people who thinks you should match your socks to your outfit. And I’m not talking about just the color. No, no. He’s talking about patterns, textures, the whole nine yards. And I’m over here like, “Dave, it’s socks. Who cares?”
But Dave insisted. “It’s about presentation,” he said. “It’s about putting your best foot forward.” (Pun intended, by the way.) And I was like, “Dave, I’m pretty sure no one is looking at my feet. And if they are, we’ve got bigger problems than mismatched socks.”
Anyway, long story short, I finally convinced Dave to let it go. And you know what? He’s been happier ever since. Turns out, not caring about socks is kinda liberating.
Practical Advice (Kinda)
So, how do you start living by the ‘F*ck It’ Rule? Well, first off, you gotta identify the things that are causing you unnecessary stress. For me, it was the constant pressure to be productive 24/7. I mean, who has time for that? So, I started setting boundaries. I turned off my work email after 6 pm. I stopped checking my phone first thing in the morning. And you know what? It was life-changing.
Another thing that helped was practicing gratitude. Now, I know this might sound cheesy, but hear me out. Every night before bed, I write down three things I’m grateful for. And it’s not just the big stuff, like “I’m grateful for my health” or “I’m grateful for my family.” It’s the little things too, like “I’m grateful for the fact that my coffee was extra strong today” or “I’m grateful that I didn’t have to deal with any ammendments to the project proposal.” (Yes, I know “ammendments” is the wrong word, but I’m leaving it in because it’s a real thing that happened and I’m not going to let grammar police me.)
And if you’re looking for helpful resources online guide to get started, there are alot of great options out there. Just do a quick search and you’ll find everything from guided meditations to journaling prompts. But honestly, the most important thing is to find what works for you and stick with it.
The Backlash
Now, I know this isn’t going to be popular with everyone. I mean, I’ve already had a few people roll their eyes at me and say, “Oh, so you’re just giving up on life?” And to that, I say, “No, I’m not giving up. I’m just choosing to focus on the things that truly matter to me.” And if that means letting go of some societal expectations, then so be it.
But look, I’m not here to convince you. This is just my experience, my journey. And honestly, I’m still figuring it all out. Some days are better than others. Some days, I slip back into old habits and find myself stressing about things that don’t matter. But then I remember the ‘F*ck It’ Rule, and I let it go.
And that’s all I’ve got for you today. No neat summary, no call-to-action. Just my thoughts, my experiences, and my journey towards a more peaceful, fulfilling life.
About the Author
I’m Sarah, a senior magazine editor with more than 20 years of experience. I’ve written for major publications, traveled the world, and made more mistakes than I can count. I’m opinionated, flawed, and always willing to share my thoughts (whether you want to hear them or not). When I’m not writing, you can find me drinking too much coffee, ranting about bad grammar, or attempting to garden (with limited succesfully).
